I was overwhelmed by everything after the birth of
number one and felt like my old self had been replaced by a slightly mad woman
with a crying baby! This time I'm still me and very aware that when
things are chaotic that this is just how it is at the moment and it will pass.
So why is it different this time? I'm better
prepared: I knew through experience about the demands of a newborn, I don't
think you can really understand what is going to happen until you live it
despite antenatal classes, books and talking to others; I had a fair idea of
how my toddler and husband would respond to the baby; and I had a very clear
idea of how I would feel and what I would find difficult. I've mentally
planned how to cope.
How do we cope? For me, going out is really
important. It might take half an hour for us to actually get out of the
flat and we may only be out for a short while but it breaks up the day. I
also ensure that I have breakfast. If the baby is crying I eat more
quickly and try to ignore it, but I don't give up on it or put it off
until mid-morning.
When the baby is sleeping I try to have fun one-to-one
time with my toddler so that she doesn't feel neglected. Our home is a
mess but nevermind. I also try not to be telling the toddler off all the
time. She pushes the boundaries but she is nearly two and her life has
just been turned upside down and most of the time she is dealing with it in a
way that makes me proud to be her mum, so some battles can wait. In the
evening my husband and I fall into the same daily pattern of doing things so
that we can get through the madness knowing that everything that needs to be
done will be done by one of us.
Last but not least, we also have some brilliant people
to help us, especially the grandparents, providing moral and practical support,
so thank you to you too!
"....some battles can wait" = best advice I've heard for ages!
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