Six months postpartum

Six months ago I was sitting in this chair holding a tiny, precious, bundle of life with a spare tyre for a waist and eager to shape up.  So much has changed in half a year.  Here's my subjective assessment of my progress in the flab mum to fab mum quest.

I've given up measuring my tummy and the only scales we own are kitchen ones.  I've realised that life is so different post-children and my body has gone through such changes that it does not make sense to be measuring and weighing myself in an attempt to look as I did before I became a mum.  It is better for me to look forward and get in shape for our lives now and in the future, to acknowledge and accept my changing body.  That is my small backlash against the myth that beauty is eternal youth.

Although still sleep-deprived (when will she sleep through the night?) I usually feel generally OK and have enough energy to keep up with the kids.  I get a few aches and pains, usually in my back, but nothing too troublesome.  My neck and shoulders were often sore after a day at work but feel looser now.  My limbs are strong and well toned from walking and lifting.  Under my wobbly tummy I now have some muscle although it is a far cry from a six-pack! 

I used to struggle to get to sleep even when exhausted but now I'm frequently asleep within 20 minutes of getting into bed.  My complexion is remarkably clear and mentally I feel alert despite the tiredness.  In short, exercising is giving me all the benefits I hoped for.  I look and feel better than I have for ages.  I just have to keep it up.  Oh, and I have some lovely new clothes...!

Workout wonder

An amazing thing happened yesterday: I managed to do almost an entire workout in the park without having to stop to settle or feed a baby or reassure a toddler that I am just running around a basketball court and not running away from her.    As a result I did the best workout for ages and am really feeling it today!  Thighs, bum, arms... Ouch!  I do, however, feel really good.  Maybe those exercise endorphins are still floating around or maybe I'm just pleased to be feeling fit.    Getting started with exercise and getting us all together to go out is at least as much of a challenge as the workout itself but now I want to do more.  Am I mad?!

Inspire a Generation

As the Olympics and Paralympics finish and those involved concentrate on the legacy of London 2012 and their slogan "Inspire a Generation", I wonder how I can do the same at home.  

My toddler is going through a phase of mimicking the words and behaviour of those around her.  She feeds, winds, cuddles and rocks her baby doll (sometimes it also gets told off and put on the naughty step!), helps me with the housework, pretends to cook, tries to encourage me to eat.  Recently I have noticed that she has also been copying me doing my exercises.

I've often heard that the children of active parents, particularly active mums, are more likely to exercise.  In 2008 an article in the British Medical Journal - Early life determinants of physical activity in 11 to 12 year olds - looked at the impact of exercise in pregnant women and mums with young children on the same children when they got older.  Unsurprisingly, they concluded that there is some association between a parent's level of activity and their child's.  There are, however, so many factors to consider, not least genetics, that to me it seems like a nature versus nurture debate.

Nature is unlikely to have produced a top performing athlete in our daughter, but I will nurture her enthusiasm for having a go by involving her in my exercise routine.  I'm pleased to see her trying to join in.  I want her to see that being active is normal and exercise is fun.  Why drive when you can walk?  Dance in the kitchen if you like the music on the radio.  Run in the park and see if you can catch the pigeons.  

I don't want her to be turned off sport, as I was, for not being good enough.  If we are truly going to inspire a generation, a whole generation and not just the naturally able, then surely we need to encourage the gifted and motivate the rest.  To me, that is the challenge in the Olympic legacy and the challenge as a parent.  We don't need to be the fastest, we just need to be fit and healthy.

Reclaiming my body (part two) and my mind

Sorry for absence this month.  I don't really have a good excuse, I suppose I have just been trying to catch up with myself.  

We're starting a big clear out and it was with joy that along with the newborn and 0-3 month baby clothes I was also able to pack up not only my maternity clothes but also the trousers I had bought a size too big as I grew into and out of proper maternity wear.  I'm not back to my old shape but I am back in my old clothes.  Hurray!

Talking to other new mums I realise that we all have little things that we do to make ourselves feel better despite the sleep deprivation.  One friend always wears a bit of jewellery, another puts on mascara each day.  I have nice pyjamas, try not to wear exactly the same clothes two days in a row (maybe every other day though!) and paint my toenails (three coats so it last ages and I don't have have to take off the varnish until my nail grows).  These small things help to remind us that we are unique, individual women as well as mums.  For me, this little effort makes such a big difference to my sense of self and well being. 

Baby carrier exercises

This week I thought I would share some ideas for exercising while carrying a baby.

We don't have a double buggy and so for the last four months I have been pushing the toddler and carrying the baby.  That alone is pretty good exercise if I keep up a decent pace, but twice a week I try to do an all round workout with other mums in a local park.  The biggest challenge in these park sessions is keeping the baby settled during our session.  

Usually she falls asleep in the baby carrier on the way to the park.  When we arrive I get the toddler out of the buggy, lie the seat down and try to transfer the baby from the carrier into the buggy without waking her.  Every time I fail!  She is grumpy about her rude awakening and doesn't easily settle and I flit between trying to exercise and trying to calm her.

To avoid this difficult situation I adapt some of the exercises and do them while still carrying her.  Here are my suggestions for a baby carrier workout:

• Warm-up by power walking (never run with your baby in a carrier as their little heads are not supported and will shake about).  I stick to power walking while pushing the buggy for cardio work too.   
• I find that the baby carrier reminds to keep my back straight and hold my tummy in when doing squats and lunges.    
• Lots of floor work you can do against a park bench, including press-ups, an adapted plank and supported leg rotations.  You can also do tricep dips against a bench. 
• I find upper body stretches a bit harder to do but try to stretch out as best I can.  Standing tall with arms above my head helps me to stretch out my back from the ache of carrying the baby.
• The baby carrier and the buggy can be good aids for remembering your posture, and therefore strengthening your core.  The buggy is also a good prop for balancing exercises when the baby carrier alters your centre of gravity.

The extra weight can make a workout that much tougher, so don't be too ambitious!  If anyone else does baby carrier workouts I would love to know how you get on and what exercises you do. 

    

Olympic spirit

We've definitely got Olympic fever in our family.  We went to see the torch go through our area on Monday and the men's cycling road race yesterday, the TV is on  all day and we're channel-hopping between events, and we have tickets for rowing, canoeing and synchronised swimming.


The thing that really inspires me about all the athletes is their discipline, endurance, long-term vision and planning.  It is an attitude that I should try and adopt a bit more when it comes to exercising.  I exercise because I want to be healthy and I want to set a good example to my girls.  I can't really say that I enjoy it, although I do enjoy the benefits of it (social as well as physical), and so I can be easily persuaded to put-off a workout at home.  My reasons are mainly excuses: I'm too tired; I've only just eaten; I've got other things to do; I can't put on my workout DVD because my husband is watching TV...


Athletes don't become Olympians by skipping the bits of their training that they don't like and I will never be a truly fab fit mum if I continue to eat ice cream while watching Team GB instead of doing a few stretches.  Discipline, endurance, long-term vision and planning are words I could do with writing on a post-it note and putting on my mirror.  

The dress

One of my motivations for exercise was fitting into a bridesmaid dress for a hot summer wedding.  There would be no layers to hide under, I was going to be exposed in a navy blue summer dress with a fitted bodice and loose from waist to the knees.  Such a beautiful dress deserved a beautiful body and with the wedding date set for 13 weeks after the birth it seemed reasonable to set getting into this dress as a first challenge to be more fab than flab.  


I did it!  Unfortunately, with the busyness of being a bridesmaid, wife to a best man, and mother to two flower girls I didn't manage to get a photo, so here is one I pinched from someone else and a family photo from a few days after the wedding.  

Balancing

One of the exercises that we do in the park is a three-way balance: standing on one leg with the other leg and arms outstretched and, if possible, closing your eyes and trying to stay upright.  The balance improves core stability.  My balance has never been very good, I find it difficult to stand on two feet with my eyes closed!  When we do this balance I don't close my eyes but I keep practising with my eyes open and one day I will close them.  I will probably topple very quickly but I'm sure that in time I will be able to manage a few seconds.


Being a mother of two children is also a balancing act.  I try to balance the attention that I give them, make sure I am handing out cuddles to the older one as well as the baby, have time with each child on their own and with them together.  The girls themselves are like weights on a set of scales as I assess at each moment who wants or needs me more, is it the toddler upset with teething pain or the baby crying for a cuddle?  Should I put the toddler down for a nap and close the door on the fussing baby for a few minutes or try to settle the baby first and hope I can do it quickly before the toddler changes her mind about sleeping?


I hope I will soon have enough confidence in standing on one leg to have the courage to close my eyes and see what happens.  I'm also practising the parental balancing act but this exercise will never be perfected, I will just have to keep my eyes open to   the ever-changing needs of each member of my family and hope that I develop the confidence to trust that I will make the right decisions about their care and well-being.       

Leading my first exercise session

Today was to be the first Ready Steady Mums session that I would be leading.  It rained.  It was really chucking it down and I didn't think anyone would come but I did a feed and a change, got the two of us waterproofed as best I could and walked over to the park.  

Halfway there the little one starts crying and I nearly turn back but decide that if anyone else has made the effort to come and exercise in this then it is my responsibility to be there and congratulate them.  The walk is a good warm-up, so I correct my posture, hold my tummy in and continue.  My daughter also continues with her crying.  Sure enough, the park is empty but I go through my planned warm-up just in case anyone turns up.  Nobody comes so we walk back home.


As I have just done 45 minutes of warm-up and this was my designated exercise time I decide to complete what I had planned to do in the park at home, with a few adaptations.  The routine works pretty well but takes much longer than expected due to breaks for more feeding and nappy changing.  I'll tweak the order slightly for when we do it in the park, but I'm pleased.  


I think I am developing a more rounded view of exercise.  There's 'keeping active' which I was doing  - and continue to do - in my everyday life anyway and there is 'exercise' which I think of now as being something more considered, such as improving stamina, working specific muscles, building core strength, cardiovascular work.  For me at the moment the two are separate but sit together quite comfortably but I'm aiming to get more 'exercise' stuff into the everyday.

Trying to stay motivated

The little one is 8 weeks old, 9 weeks in a couple of days, and I'm having a bit of a motivational blip.


Two weeks ago I had a giggle when I found myself doing tricep dips against the bath one evening while waiting for it to fill.  A couple of days later, while waiting for some pasta to cook, I was doing assisted press-ups against the worktop.  Now when I get a moment to myself I just want to flop, right here on the floor a crumpled bundle of me not doing anything except breathing.  I wanted to flop before, and I did but I also exercised.  Now I'm considering buying those pants that hold everything in.


I know that I feel like this because I'm sleep deprived, I've missed a couple of park sessions and therefore missed encouragement from other mums, and because my uterus has contracted and I'm only making small gains (or rather small losses) in the flabby tummy area.  


In the hope that recognising this blip is the first step towards remotivating myself, here is my plan of action:
1)  I will put on my waterproof jacket (rain is providing an excuse to stay in) and buy some soft fruit and a little choccy bar or cake.  The treat is to remind me to be nice to myself and I will eat it on my own in silence when the kids are asleep and enjoy it as a treat, rather than gorging it when the toddler's back is turned and not appreciating it (so wanting another one).
2)  I will plan the exercise session I am going to run on Monday.  I'm volunteering to run this weekly Ready Steady Mums session - come along - and will blog about this another time.
3)  I will try on my bridesmaid dress, which should arrive this week, and feel happy wearing something beautiful.  In four weeks I'll be wearing it for the bride and groom.
4)  I will do some yoga daily, even if only a few minutes of breathing exercises, as that helps me to slow down and appreciate a moment, and it also helps me to sleep. 

Reclaiming my body

I was having a little moan to my husband about how my body just doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore: it belongs to our girls.  Hours are spent feeding, cuddling, calming and carrying the baby.  When I'm not holding her the toddler wants a cuddle or is doing a great impression of a shadow and clinging on to me when we're out and about, or following me around when we're at home so I can't even go to the loo on my own.  


I moaned that I feel I'm always looking after them but don't have the time or ability to look after myself.  I really meant that I would like to have a shower alone, with the door shut, and actually enjoy the experience of steam, zesty shower gel and squeaky clean hair.  Instead it is a chore involving jumping in and out and trying to wash myself while observing the toddler pulling down the towels and waking the baby by enthusiastically bouncing her chair.  


My husband's response was that he thought I was looking after myself very well... through my exercise programme.  His response really made me think again about my body.  Instead of seeing it as something that has been taken from me, I am actually  reclaiming it.  Exercising is something that I do for myself.  Almost the only thing that I do for myself at the moment.  Looking back at my motivations for exercising I am reminded that looking and feeling good is important for me mentally as well as physically.  Of course, it also benefits the children as they have a happy and healthy mum, but I am driving this forward and I am motivating myself and I am doing this for me.


I may be looking a bit dishevelled but I am up and about and will be clothes shopping soon!     

Five weeks postpartum

I do have a forearm by the way, it's just pulling
my top back to give you the full belly effect! 

I’m out of my maternity jeans... but I'm not into my regular jeans.  At least I don't think I am, I haven't actually tried to get them on and am wearing the stretch jeans that I wore in the early months of pregnancy.

I've lost 11cm from my waist since the birth and my belly looks more like a muffin top now.  It's still too early to do any abs work, so I'm concentrating on my core strength and pelvic floor and generally just trying to keep moving.  I'm happy with how it's all going.

    

Life with two

The first month has flown by and while the baby is napping and the toddler is playing in her cot (she should be napping too) I'm enjoying a bit of peace and contemplating life with two children under two years old.

I was overwhelmed by everything after the birth of number one and felt like my old self had been replaced by a slightly mad woman with a crying baby!  This time I'm still me and very aware that when things are chaotic that this is just how it is at the moment and it will pass.  

So why is it different this time?  I'm better prepared: I knew through experience about the demands of a newborn, I don't think you can really understand what is going to happen until you live it despite antenatal classes, books and talking to others; I had a fair idea of how my toddler and husband would respond to the baby; and I had a very clear idea of how I would feel and what I would find difficult.  I've mentally planned how to cope.

How do we cope?  For me, going out is really important.  It might take half an hour for us to actually get out of the flat and we may only be out for a short while but it breaks up the day.  I also ensure that I have breakfast.  If the baby is crying I eat more quickly and try to  ignore it, but I don't give up on it or put it off until mid-morning.  

When the baby is sleeping I try to have fun one-to-one time with my toddler so that she doesn't feel neglected.  Our home is a mess but nevermind.  I also try not to be telling the toddler off all the time.  She pushes the boundaries but she is nearly two and her life has just been turned upside down and most of the time she is dealing with it in a way that makes me proud to be her mum, so some battles can wait.  In the evening my husband and I fall into the same daily pattern of doing things so that we can get through the madness knowing that everything that needs to be done will be done by one of us.  

Last but not least, we also have some brilliant people to help us, especially the grandparents, providing moral and practical support, so thank you to you too!    

Three and a half weeks postpartum

I'm certainly feeling the three weeks of sleep deprivation but trying to get on with some normal things in life is helping me feel less like a zombie.  Just getting us all up, dressed and fed takes hours, so having gone to the effort of brushing my teeth (when did I last wash my hair?) I might as well go out.


Yesterday was a good day to go out: no rain!  I went to the park for another workout and was encouraged by the number of mums that had brought toddlers to the session.  I recently read a blog entry from another mum blogger who talked about her frustration of not being able to do a workout at home with the kids about, and also of the wish for her children to see her exercising so that she is setting a good impression to them.  I really empathise with that.  I tried to do yoga at home while I was pregnant but ended up doing it when our daughter was asleep as otherwise she was trying to climb on top of me or push her toys into me.


The toddlers at this session stayed in their buggies for a bit, played together or on their own and occasionally wandered off and let mum have a bit of extra exercise chasing them back to the group.  With other mums around there were lots of eyes to check that they were all safe and didn't wander too far.  So now I am planning on going to another workout session with both kids in tow.  


What about exercising at home?  After reading the other mum's blog I've decided to adopt her attitude of doing what you can.  Maybe yoga is best saved for nap times, but I can do stretches and play active games.  My toddler really loves to jump at the moment so maybe more of that (apologies in advance to our neighbours below) or some enthusiastic renditions of "head, shoulders, knees and toes"?

A wet workout

I had a lazy weekend and didn't leave the flat for two days.  I also ate the last of the Easter chocolate and a takeaway curry, so on Monday I really wanted to get out and move about.


Monday morning was a bit windy and rainy but me and the little one wrapped up and walked to the park for my first outdoor Ready Steady Mums session.  The session was led by a lovely volunteer and as the weather seemed to have kept others away she adapted her session plan to suit me.  Lucky me!  The focus was on gentle movement - walking and swinging my arms, and pushing the pram while doing kicks and lunges - and strengthening my core through stretching and balancing exercises.  


The baby cried a bit to begin with but as soon as we started exercising with the pram it rocked her to sleep and she stayed like that for the rest of the session and I was able to keep my focus on the workout.  I felt good afterwards and re-motivated.  I felt all the benefits and no twinges or discomfort, and that has given me a confidence boost.  I definitely must do more of the same. 

Two weeks postpartum

I listened to the midwife last week and I have been resting up.  I've continued to do some gentle exercises too and now when I'm feeding I try to do some ankle flexes and rotations or my pelvic floor, when lying on the floor playing with the girls I can do some clams, before I go to sleep I do more pelvic floor exercises, when I push the buggy/pram I try to remember to stand tall and hold my tummy in.  See, nothing too demanding!


I was discharged by the midwife yesterday and am feeling pretty good as the baby is putting on weight well and I am healing ok.    


My husband goes back to work on Monday but we're keeping our firstborn in her childcare three days a week until the end of June.  The plan is that it will help me and the newborn to settle into a rhythm (not a routine!) with each other and allow our eldest to retain something normal and predictable for her when home-life is a bit topsy-turvy.  I hope this will also mean that I don't get overtired.  It is next week when the challenge really begins: fitting timescales back into our lives.  

Two weeks, two tummies

Fat Mum...

... Flab Mum

One week postpartum

Baby 2 was born 9 days early.  Our first-born spent the first night we were home with her grandparents which enabled us to get some sleep and have a few hours where it was just the three of us. 

I feel much better after this birth than I did after my first, even though both of them were fairly straightforward births without interventions.  I have a second-degree tear again and on day six the midwife told me that some of the stitches have popped, so I’m a bit worried about that and trying to be really careful about how I move.

Until I saw the midwife I was feeling much better than I expected, not too tired just sore and swollen.  It’s a big help that we’re not struggling with beastfeeding this time and she sleeps, what a revelation!  I hope this continues!  I’ve done some gentle exercises from Ready Steady Mums - pelvic floor, neck stretches, ankle mobilisation, the Ready Steady Squeeze and trying to remember my posture - and been out of the flat three times for some short walks.

Now I have had my wrist slapped by the midwife and told to rest up some more I’m also feeling pretty tired.  Is that a coincidence or just the week’s adventure catching up with me?  I’m still motivated to be active but I’m not in a rush to do more until I know that I’m healing ok.

My tummy is 84cm around my belly button but 89cm just below. 

My motivations

·               At 38 weeks pregnant my waist size is one metre.  I’m quite a small person: that is almost one third of my height!

·               I’m going to be a bridesmaid when the baby is 10 weeks old (if it arrives on time) and want to look and feel good for the bride and groom (and the photos!)

·               The weather will be warmer and I can spend time outside with the toddler and the newborn, making exercise much more pleasant

·               If I exercise I’m less likely to get run-down mentally and physically

·               If I can exercise with others I’ll meet other mums

·               I need some new clothes and I want to buy them in my usual size

Getting ready for second time around

During this pregnancy I have juggled part-time work with home life in the always-on-the-go way that is the life of a parent.  I also took up yoga, which I have found immensely beneficial.  Katy showed me some stretch and tone exercises from the soon-to-be-released RSM prenatal video.  I haven’t been as disciplined about doing these, sorry Katy!

This time I’m more motivated to lose weight and tone up again soon after the birth (maybe I won’t feel so motivated after I have actually given birth?!).  I thought I would document my journey to see how following RSM as a second time mum works for me.  What keeps me motivated, when do I exercise, what exercise do I do, how do I feel, how do I manage it with a newborn and one under two years old?  How will I as a non-sporty, well intentioned but easily distracted woman fare?

About Me

I’m not a sporty person, anyone who has seen me with a bat or raquet or even at an exercise class will tell you how hopeless my coordination is!  Nevertheless, I am not inactive and like to think that my lifestyle is more mobile than static.  I’m a stairs rather than lift person, I don’t drive so think nothing of walking everywhere, my job isn’t completely desk bound.  Before my first pregnancy I went running two-three times a week and now I run around after a toddler.  I suppose I am/was like a lot of women and try to fit being active into my daily lifestyle without much time devoted to specific exercise sessions.

After the birth of my first child, my daughter, 21 months ago I did my pelvic floor exercises and paced the streets with the pram or, more often, with her in the baby carrier for at least an hour a day for six months.  That was the extent of my post-baby exercise programme.  It wasn’t that I didn’t know about exercise sessions that I could join, I just felt so out of sorts for several months and my daughter seemed to want feeding constantly and then cried and screamed whenever she was put down that doing anything for myself, including exercise, didn’t seem to be an option.

Life got easier after six months and a month or two later I met Katy and found out about Ready Steady Mums (RSM).  By then I was pretty much back to my pre-pregnancy body but I wanted a rounded exercise programme that would fit in with being a full-time mum.  I started to follow RSM’s online programme and also signed up for another 12 week exercise programme, New Mum New You, that was being run locally.  I toned up, looked fab, felt great, went back to work and became pregnant again!